Coming Clean.

Okay , there are a few things on my mind that I really just need to put into words. Okay , I've already told pretty much everyone how I feel about these things , but still. I don't know. Maybe if I put them into written words I'll feel better about them.

First off : The Mormon Feminists. They REALLY bug me. REALLY.  Why would you even want to actually hold the priesthood? I feel like the church holds us women in high enough light and at a high value , that adding the priesthood (other than supporting our husbands in it , and magnifying our callings) would just add more pressure to us as women.

If the church comes out and actually says that women can now hold the priesthood , I won't lie. It's going to shake my faith in the church. Maybe that makes me a bad person. I think I would be able to come to terms to it eventually , simply because I have faith that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing , and I trust the prophets. I just know I'd have a struggle accepting it. The end. Now that I think about it , in my daughters blessing it did say she'd magnify her priesthood callings or something like that. At first I thought it was a mistake I made , then Gregg's brother convinced me it just meant that she'd support her husband in his callings and do good in her callings. Now I'm slightly worried that maybe it's a sign.

Second , and lastly : My friend got married. Someone who I thought was my best friend. So much so that she was one of my bridesmaids , and I've named her my daughters fairy Godmother. lol. Anyways. I didn't get invited to the wedding. I mean I didn't expect to be bridesmaid or anything because hey , I didn't really know them that well as a couple and I didn't even introduce them , so I really have no place being a bridesmaid. I DID however expect to at least get an invite to the wedding.

Surprisingly enough this is the SECOND time this has happened to me this summer/fall. Is there something about me that says "unless you get married in the temple I'm going to judge the crap out of you , so don't invite me to your wedding unless it's going to be in the temple." ? I'm seriously hurt by this. I know it shouldn't bug me , but it really does. I understand that it was her wedding and she can invite whoever she wants. I just thought we were close enough that I'd get an invite.

Whatever. Just seals the deal that I don't need friends. I'd love to have them , but I always get stomped on when I'm friends with someone , so why bother. I'm done. I'm going to become a hermit and be my daughters friend until she decides I'm not cool anymore.

Also I don't feel any better.