I'll be okay

Sometimes i'm going to have sucky days. I just have to accept that. Gregg and I did the "math" and I decided that in 1 week we spend maybe 12 hours together where we're both awake. Meaning he's always at school/work , and i'm just always at work. When we're not at work we're asleep.

Work is especially stinky. Gregg asked me this evening if I still wanted to work there. I replied. Yes. I still like my job. I really do. Just not this week. Or last week. It's not even my job really. It's just that since my coworker quit , I feel like i'm no longer there because I want to be there , i'm there because i'm a warm body who can cover a shift. Because somebody has to be there. That stinks to me. I still really love my job , I still feel like i'm making a difference , and I wouldn't trade my job for anything. ( Well aside from being a mommy) I just feel useless there right now. Even though i'm a key player in my team.

People suck. Okay , not people. Just one. I knew this girl would hate me after I removed her from Facebook , but I was correct in my original gut feeling. The one that nobody supported me in. Well after finding out about this evenings conversations I've now converted Gregg. Even if he is supporting me simply because i'm his wife. I definitely don't regret my decision now. In fact , i'm more sealed in it. I'm bummed , and depressed that I pretty much lost one of my best friends , but I deserve better. So does she. She deserves better for herself than she's giving herself. So it's time to move on. Maybe one day i'll make married people friends when i'm not so busy taking care of my 2 adult "Children."

So here I am. In bed. Pigging out on chocolate pie. Here's to the 10 pounds i'll probably never lose. I'm just super grateful to have 2 families who love me. A husband who tells me everyday that marrying me was the best decision he's ever made . That he is surprised at how happy he is every day. I find comfort in these things. I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who is so understanding and supportive of me. Driving home from work humming church hymns to my sad self , I could feel his love for me. I knew that everything would be okay because even though I lost a friend , I have a lot of people who will always love and be there for me. So i'll be okay.