I don't really know how to go about this post. It's really one of the hardest things I've ever had to discuss. Which oddly enough it's a super common thing , so I don't know why it's so hard . I'm lucky it's not a bigger issue. To me though , it's huge. I don't know anyone else with this , except since finding out about it , I've had a few people tell me they have it too.

I have P.C.O.S.

Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome.

So the back story to how I found all this out :

I got my last Depo Shot back in June of 2013. It takes 3 months to even wear off , so in September of that year I went to my new Ob/Gyn and said I wanted on something else. I wasn't liking the effects of my current birth control. So she put me on something else. That's when I noticed something was wrong. I had a 3 week and counting period. So in February they gave me a new pill to stop the bleeding and to help regulate. Except it wasn't. I was having a period that lasted 3 days , every other weekend. ( which was normal after switching pills the first time except for that one 3+ week one. ) So I went back in because I knew my body and that it wasn't normal for me.

So they switched me to a new pill and said try this. If you have a super long period again , come in and we'll do some blood work to figure out what's going on. well come the end of March I had a 2+ week long period. so I made an appointment. They did the work and 3 days maybe 4 they called back. My blood showed I had PCOS. Here are some pictures of what PCOS looks like in a person. These aren't my ovaries , but they'll help you get the idea.

Ovary without Cysts. 

An Ovary full of Cysts. ( PCOS) 

What this means for me is that I'm going to have a hard time having kids , because my body doesn't let my eggs age to maturity. so they just stay and hang out in the form of a cyst in my ovaries. I'm also insulin resistant , so they put me on meds and a diet to regulate my periods. If they regulate ( they slowly are) I have a slightly better chance of having kids naturally. However my ob/gyn , who I finally trust, said that more than likely in my case , I would need fertility meds if I wanted a real shot at having kids. She's not pushy about them though which is how I know I can trust her. She said that she thought that trying up until December to get pregnant naturally was a super Idea. She said if I wanted to we could re discuss the option of Fertility Medications then if I wanted.

What it boils down to is I have PCOS and Secondary Infertility. ( It's a real thing y'all. Look it up) I was told at my follow up appointment that I've probably always had PCOS. Just in some people it doesn't flare up until after pregnancy. Which is crazy. Anyways. I've been working out and dieting in hopes of putting all the odds in my favor as possible.

It's hard because I feel like my body is letting me down , and that I'm letting Gregg and Zoe down. I'm trying to appreciate Zoe more because who knows if I'll get these experiences with a toddler again.

I'll write another post with things that ( from experience) you should NEVER say to someone with PCOS.